I decided on Sunday that my focus for this week would be “CHANGE” and to embrace change with curiosity and hope in my heart with faith that the changes would be exactly what are needed at this moment. I decided that when My son’s father and I were in Chicago meeting his fiancé’s parents for the first time.
I love his fiancé and am thrilled that she and he are so well matched. I love so many things about her character and the values she has and the choices she makes. And I am thrilled that her parents love my son and are open and welcoming to him, embracing him into their family. I wouldn’t want it to be any different; in fact, this is the perfect scenario. This also means, of course, that as he embraces a new family, his relationship with us is changing. Changing doesn’t mean anything less than it is or could be; it simply means changing. I want to be open and accepting of these changes and to do so with hope and curiosity and a faith that provides me with steady ease.
I used images of my piano in my weekly “Mindset Monday” social media posts to demonstrate this intention. My grandmother bought that piano for me 50 years ago. She’d sold enough hogs that season to be able to afford it, she’d proudly told me. And her intention was that I’d learn to play the piano and therefore increase my chances of marrying a preacher-man. I never learned to play it and the preacher’s wife life never manifested for me. My grandmother was proud of me anyway, and that piano represented her devoted prayers for me. I loved her and I loved the ways she loved me.
The time has finally come for the piano to go. In my search for someone to take it, I found a young man who wanted to re-purpose it. He’s going to gut it and turn it into a bar! And when he removed the top to prepare it for moving, I discovered the image of an elephant – the symbol of my soul! That was like a message from my grandmother and from my experience in faith – changes bring exactly what is needed NOW.
The piano has a whole new lease on life – a whole new life ahead! That idea gave me a burst of new energy, too, and a reminder that changes are doors through which we travel into new worlds, new seasons.
These 2 events – meeting my son’s future in-laws, and finding a new home for my piano, were the things that made me think about change as this week’s focus.
Then something else happened. We drove home from Chicago, and when we returned home, I couldn’t get out of the car. As soon as I started to move my left leg, I knew immediately that something wasn’t right. It wouldn’t hold my weight. And the pain was excruciating. And it didn’t get any better on Sunday.
Today I went to the orthopedic doctor and X-rays showed that I have “significant” arthritis in both knees and the left one may have additional damage that we can’t know without an MRI.
Change. Arthritis has already done its invasive damage. The change has already taken place and now I’m living with it. My intention this week is to embrace change with curiosity and hope: what can the rest of my life look like with random, unexpected bouts with uncomfortable limits in mobility? How can I creatively work around these limits? I see possibilities and I trust there are more that I can’t yet see. I do have faith that by embracing this new season with the belief that it’s what is needed now will inspire the answers to the questions I ask in curiosity. I do have faith that by embracing the demolition of my piano frees my mind to enjoy thoughts of my piano’s whole new life as a kegger in party environments. Perhaps the reality of “significant” arthritis is a kind of demolition of the hum-drum expectations I had of getting older, now inviting me to free the future from what could have been, making space for a new life in whatever version my future party environment unfolds for me.
I’m certainly willing to stay with this week’s intention and embrace change with curiosity and hope and faith.
What’s your Mindset Monday intention for this week?